My parents are divorced so you'd think I'd have some kind of knowledge of what it feels like being caught in between two places, not until today did I learn that I in fact had absolutely no idea what it felt like.
I left Tonkawa at 3:00 A.M. Saturday. In an attemp to avoid the inevitable - crying when I had to say the toughest goodbye in my life - I put up a wall trying not to feel anything at all. I had to force myself to walk the opposite direction from people that mean the world to me. No doubt that Holly was the hardest one!
Chris, thanks for coming to the airport, giving up your 8 hours of sleep. I honestly have no idea how Holly and I would've parted without you being there, thanks for carrying my guitar, and thanks for writing those awesome lyrics.
I didn't really cry again until I boarded the plane in New York but I was bawling by take off. There was no going back from there. I was leaving America for good, at least for a little while. It was then I realised that I'll never be Danish again nor will I be American. I'm caught in between the two places I love the most, the place I was born and the place I've come to call home.
I truly don't know where I belong. I know where I want to belong, but I'm still feeling caught in between, and it really kinda sucks. I miss America and the people there more than I thought I already would, I truly hope that time will make me feel better about it all, or I'll be depressed for the rest of my life. I just wanna be OK.
Don't misunderstand! I'm glad I finally got to see my family again, and it's gonna be great to see my friends too. Denmark looks the same it always has and I can't figure out if I find it depressing or comforting. I guess I expected at least some things to change while I was gone. Truly I'd like to spend the summer in Denmark and just go back to Tonkawa for another year of American high school.
Goodbyes hurt, but it hurts even more to miss the people you said goodbye to.
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